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Natural Connections for a Healthier Life Positive relationships can ward off loneliness, and help us live longer, healthier lives Angelique Kasmara Family Care NZ Issue 51  All the connections we have in our lives make a difference. Positive social interactions are linked to better cardiovascular health, lower blood pressure, less depression and a longer life. These connections help us build and grow skills, improve our mental health, and boost our self-esteem. Sharing your troubles with trusted others can help to lighten your emotional load and provide a sense of relief. They can play a role in stopping mental health issues from spiralling by providing a sense of belonging and self-worth. Conversations and activities with friends can be stimulating and fun, helping to ward off cognitive challenges. Who we connect to includes our nearest and dearest, of course, but others as well. Studies show that even occasional connections are beneficial, whether it’s a friend you catch up with occasionally, acquaintances, people in a group you’re part of, or those you see casually, such as your neighbourhood dairy owner or barista. It’s worthwhile to review our most important relationships now and then – how we are connecting at home, at work, and in the rest of our lives. Our wellbeing can depend on these interactions! Other Factors Strengthening and nurturing our close relationships is important, but what if we’re in a challenging situation at home or work that we can do little about? These relationships, if distant, can make us feel even lonelier. If this is true for you, it’s even more important to sustain other connections – ones that enrich your life and make you feel good. Despite the well-known benefits of connecting with people who are important to us, it’s all too easy to neglect our relationships. Many of us are taking care of our families, whether it’s raising small children, looking after a parent, or helping someone who needs extra support. Or maybe we’re a bit set in our ways and not as open to new things. Reaching out for new connections isn’t always easy. It can feel as though others already have their group of friends and aren’t looking for new ones. It’s also a reality that many of us experience social anxiety, are naturally introverted or simply out of practice in how to connect with others. The pandemic, too, may have isolated us from friends, family, neighbours, or activities. Given that this is the case for so many of us, how do we create more natural connections? Tried and True Think of why making friends may have been easier when you were younger. Friendships are often made through the simple factors of proximity, timing and regularity, in environments such as school, a tertiary institution, a friendly neighbourhood, or our workplace. This low stakes familiarity means that it’s easier to get a sense of who you might have a natural rapport with. In adulthood we need to actively create similar conditions. How do we do this? It's all about you! It may feel counterintuitive, but the first step towards creating these conditions is to turn your attention to yourself. Putting yourself first is important! Think of it as a DIY project you’ve neglected for awhile. Before you start, it’s best to have all your tools lined up, sharpened, shined, or repaired before you make a start on building new connections, or perhaps repairing existing ones. What does putting yourself first mean to you? It can and should mean simply that: doing what is best for you whether this comes in the form of relaxing in the bath, getting medical check ups, eating a balanced diet, or catching up with friends. Prioritising your own physical, emotional, and mental health can and should create a positive ripple effect all around. For most people, family, health, work and community are intertwined and the success of one depends on the other. Our ideas about staying connected might be helpful. Me time Many of us struggle to put ourselves first. This may come from beliefs instilled since childhood of selflessness being a virtue. Or maybe it conjures up unwelcome memories of that demanding customer, toxic ex or difficult neighbour who managed to make everything about themselves. For many people, such as those with health condition or caring for a loved one, finding ‘me time’ may be difficult. It is important to allow yourself to feel that prioritising yourself doesn’t have to mean being selfish or neglecting others. Also that there are ways to do this without damaging your relationships. For those with little time, it might come down to snatching five minutes here and there to do something just for you.  Connect with yourself first Spa treatments, yoga classes or a weekend trip away are lovely ideas, but for many they aren’t an option. If you’re unable to get time off, can’t easily go out to connect with others, or if these activities are financially out of reach, try focusing on the basics first. Keep routines as simple and sustainable as possible. Aim for regular quality sleep, a balanced diet, frequent hydration, daily exercise and outside time for 20-40 minutes for a daily dose of Vitamin D. Enjoy favourite activities, which match your abilities and interests. Find your community Research shows that connection is vital for our mental wellbeing. Doing things we enjoy is often more fun with others, and a positive interaction can brighten up our day. Also, just about everyone has something that they’re struggling with, whether it’s the cost of living or health issues. If you’re feeling overburdened, the more information, practical and emotional support you can find, the easier things feel. Seek support groups online and in person to share coping strategies and maintain social connection. It’s important to ask for help as much as you offer it. You may feel vulnerable reaching out, but nothing strengthens a friendship more than asking for a favour. Make time for what matters to you When you job, health needs, or support for others swallows up all your time, it may be difficult to sometimes put your own needs first, including maintaining hobbies and social activities. It’s important to connect with aspects of your life that matter to you. If you are feeling disconnect from yourself, try taking stock of your interests. Notice what you’re missing, whether it is spending time in nature, pursuing a special interest, going to the movies, playing sport, or attending a book club. If you can, mark these activities out on the calendar. Scheduling a Pilates class or going to the movies with a friend makes it less likely your plans will be put aside. Set healthy boundaries Establishing healthy rules and limitations can help strengthen any relationship, at any stage. Start by reflecting on your values and beliefs. By gaining a more thorough understanding of yourself, you can begin to identify the kind of financial, physical or psychological boundaries that will work for you. When you’re setting boundaries with another person, choose a time when you’re both relaxed and can talk through your expectations with each other. Be as clear as possible. For example, instead of saying, “I need more personal space” give a clear directive such as “please ask first before going into my bedroom”. Acknowledge the contradictions A lot of research has been done on how tallying up positives leads to feeling more confident and uplifted. Think of three things that were challenging during the day. Maybe you couldn’t get through to your health provider, you lost your keys, and everyone in your household is down with illness. Then, come up with three things that you’re pleased about – you had a nice chat with a shop assistant, a flower in your garden just bloomed, the clothes on your line stayed dry.  Be a lifelong learner Staying open and choosing to learn new things can expand and enrich your life in unexpected ways. Not sure where to start? Make a list of things you’d love to do. Write them down and put the list somewhere visible, like the fridge door. If something is anchored in your subconscious, you’re more likely to spot an opportunity to take action when it comes your way.  Ref: Family Care NZ issue 51 Comments are closed.
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AuthorShonagh O'Hagan Archives
May 2025
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